Purchasing Department

When I got married I received a vacuum from my Grandpa.  This was the gift each of my cousins received from Grandpa, and I always knew I would get a vacuum too.  Man, how I loved that vacuum.  Okay, so I didn't really think about the vacuum at all.  But still.  It was a vacuum, and it was mine.  Because this gift was a copycat gift given to each grandchild, I think it is safe to say that the vacuum cost about $100.

When I had been married for eight years, Justin and I decided we would get a real Christmas tree.  It smelled good, it poked me, we decorated it, it poked me, Christmas ended, and it poked me.  Because I'd never had a live tree before, and because I cannot apparently put two and two together, I decided to use my vacuum to clean up all those lovely pine needles my Christmas tree gifted me.

I bet you're surprised that I broke the vacuum.

It's okay, I figured.  I've had this vacuum eight years and it wasn't sucking that great anyway.  Or was sucking.  Whichever way you want to look at it.  Regardless, I went to buy a new vacuum.

Despite the fact that my mother and Justin both mocked my choice, I decided to buy the cheapest vacuum available: $35.  What I really wanted was a good vacuum, but since I didn't feel like spending a bazillion dollars I decided I would get a vacuum that I only intended to last two to three years.  Then when it died, and we possibly had a real job, I would buy a useful vacuum.

I believe the $35 vacuum lasted about two months.  Wow.  My house is really not that big, and I really don't vacuum that much.

Luckily I had - for the first time in my life - bought the warranty offered with the vacuum ($5) so I returned the vacuum and got my money back.  At this point, I decided I would invest a little more than $35 in my purchase.  I also went to Target instead of WalMart.  (As though their vacuums are any different.  At least it made me feel as though I weren't so cheap.)  This time I spent about $70 on a new vacuum.  I even researched online "cheap vacuums that actually work."  I felt confident that I could get two years out of this thing.  And all seemed good.  The vacuum worked moderately well, and months passed.

But last week, my vacuum died again.  This time there were no offending pine needles, and I had even cleaned the filter regularly.  Sure I did run over a ribbon once and pull off the belt in the process - but I'd actually read the instructions (gasp) and fixed that.  How unfair!  I didn't even kill it with my stupidity.

Now I need a new vacuum.  Tonight we're having company and I had to crawl around the living room floor picking up crumbs, dust balls, and things Spencer has chewed on and spit out again.  Why has it been a week with no new purchase.  (I know Aunt Penny would not be happy.)  Because I have no idea which vacuum to buy.  Sure, I know if I bought a Dyson it would always work.  I even floated the idea of selling back my phone so I could get a decent cleaning machine.  (Justin looked at me like I was insane when I mentioned this.)  But what about those medium-priced vacuums????  Are any of them decent enough to last two years???

And what was so magical about Grandpa's vacuum that it lasted 8 years and was only killed by my idiotic efforts to vacuum up a tree?  They say you don't appreciate a good thing until it's gone.  Man, I wish I had my vacuum back.  'Cause let me tell you, I loved that vacuum.  At least I know I'd love it if I had it now.


  1. I currently own three vacuums. Vacuum A we received for our wedding and it's cheap and doesn't work very well (poor suction, very small), Vacuum B I bought about 8 years ago and now has no suction, but it's purple! Vacuum C is Shawn's is probably 15 years old at least, and has the best cleaning ability, but it also smells like dirty socks in our house whenever we vacuum. I want a new vacuum, but considering most of our house is hard flooring, it's not likely. So, I feel your pain.


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