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Showing posts from January, 2013

Indecision

Lately I've been "undecided."  About lots of things.

Currently, I have written five new beginnings to five different books.  I can't manage to feel committed about any of the projects.  Each of them has parts I like, and none of them has convinced me that I want to spend the next 2-3 years with them.  Does this mean I haven't hit on what I should work on, or that I am insanely unable to make a decision right now?

I also recently read "The Happiness Project."  (Libbi's suggestion)  While I think the author might be even more OCD than me, and I was a little put off by her blog's assertion that she is a "happiness expert" - I couldn't get past the self-promotion there - she has some valid points about being deliberate when making goals for improvement and increased happiness.  After reading the book I felt compelled to make some goals (or resolutions, as she put it).  But what would I make them about?  There are so many different are…

Purchasing Department

When I got married I received a vacuum from my Grandpa.  This was the gift each of my cousins received from Grandpa, and I always knew I would get a vacuum too.  Man, how I loved that vacuum.  Okay, so I didn't really think about the vacuum at all.  But still.  It was a vacuum, and it was mine.  Because this gift was a copycat gift given to each grandchild, I think it is safe to say that the vacuum cost about $100.

When I had been married for eight years, Justin and I decided we would get a real Christmas tree.  It smelled good, it poked me, we decorated it, it poked me, Christmas ended, and it poked me.  Because I'd never had a live tree before, and because I cannot apparently put two and two together, I decided to use my vacuum to clean up all those lovely pine needles my Christmas tree gifted me.

I bet you're surprised that I broke the vacuum.

It's okay, I figured.  I've had this vacuum eight years and it wasn't sucking that great anyway.  Or was sucking.  …

Good Quote

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best,  night and day, to make you everybody else  means to fight the hardest battle which any human  being can fight; and never stop fighting."  - e e cummings
I love this quote and I want to my kids to memorize it.  I want to stencil it on the inside of their eyelids.  But not really.  Because that would be gross.

Humility vs Creativity

I used to dance growing up.  Let me make this clear without anyone feeling the need to pat me on my head and tell me I'm all wrong: I was not the best dancer in my class.  I just wasn't.  I am okay with that.  But let me make this also clear: it was very important for me as a dancer to believe that I was the best dancer in my class.

A little more confusion to go with that clarity:

Never at any time was I under the illusion that anyone else - teachers, classmates, small five-year-olds that stood on their tiptoes to watch us dance - never did I believe that any of those individuals thought to themselves that I was the best dancer in my class.  This, you see, was not the point.  After all, I knew I would not be accepted into any New York City ballet program at any time.  And I also knew I would not be cast as the starring role in my studio's upcoming performance.  Reality did not escape me on these points.

But always.  Always. I believed that deep inside me there was a magica…

On Writing.

For some reason, it makes me uncomfortable to talk about my writing with others.  Perhaps this is because it doesn't seem like writing is "official" if it only exists on a home computer.  Perhaps this is because it's important to me, and I can't quite bear the scrutiny of outside evaluation on its somewhat nebulous existence. In explanation, I've compared my writing to quilts.  For a quilt-maker, regardless of skill level, the finished product of your efforts will be appreciated by others.  Quilts are warm.  Quilts are useful.  Unless they're itchy, you can always find a person willing to take a quilt off your hands.  This does not prove true for pages of stories stored away on a hard-drive.  All that creativity, effort, and thought - and if it's not ready for the real world - then it's only ready to be stored away as "practice."  And so, despite the fact that I do write, and that I do write regularly, I don't really talk about it. …